baby blues

I am nearing the end of my pregnancy.
This may or may not be the first and last time i'm pregnant.
Don't worry, i certainly won't miss this period.
It's simply gotta be the single toughest period of my life.
I think back to the other times when life sux, when i despaired and cried out, when i was down and out....
And nothing came close to this....simply cos nothing lasted as bloody long as a year!
Whatever wretched moments there were, it was over pretty fast.
This year is really the champion of tough times.
And i will remember it in its unique bittersweet way - more bitter than anything really.

Advice for those hoping for a baby:

1. Be prepared for the worst. Cos the worst and beyond is what will happen.

2. Make sure you really want the baby.
That it's not cos you feel old, or lonely, or incurred an 'accident'. It's way too much sacrifice.

3. Pray your boss/company is understanding.
Only God knows how many times i've walked into the office feeling like i can collapse/keel over/faint any moment and had to head back home. Or how work just automatically becomes your last priority in the midst of vomit spells, belly aches, prental depression and baby-mania.

4. Don't let yourself go.
You need to have the courage to look yourself in the mirror. And trust me, it's a surprisingly horrid sight even if you put in effort. So don't ever let yourself go. Go for that haircut, manicure, pedicure, buy that top you like, splurge on rubbish, whatever makes u feel like Paris Hilton.

5. Keep active as long as you possibly can.
One mistake i made was to stop running too early. I practically stopped the moment i found out i was pregnant, which was a dumb call. Further research and consultation proved that i could safely run till the 4th month. Some super-fit mums (like Tiger Wood's wife) said she was running till her 7th month. Stupid gynae told me to stop exercising.... thank goodness my job and shopping kept me mobile.

6. Find the right gynae for YOU.
I spent too much time and money with my first female gynae at Raffles Hospital, who wasn't that professional and comforting. She made me fear/hate the pregnancy more by avoiding my queries and dismissing my doubts. It was only after i switched to Dr. Lim in the 7th month that i felt more confident and in control of the situation. He was so patient...the first 2 consultations felt like a lecture in OB/GYN. Now, even the thought of natural birth is remotely bearable.

7. Involve your family & friends.
I was sceptical initially, but i realised family support is crucial. There is just no way you can handle everything on your own, no matter how supportive your husband is. Women who have gone thru it know 10x better, and provide more practical advice than any book/doctor/website can ever dish out. And it's good to feel their excitement & concern, esp on days when you feel like bursting your own belly. Looking at women who have survived childbirth also makes u feel less of a fat alien. Single friends may find it hard to relate, but you'll realise everyone has nothing but kind words.

8. Get over yourself.
In order to be pregnant, you must put yourself last in everything. Out goes your self-esteem, confidence, vanity, ego, pride etc. Sometimes i think the pregnancy lasts so long cos it takes forever to get used to this. We spend all our lives focusing on ourselves, achieving the best for ME...then when baby comes along, you don't seem to matter anymore. Whatever you eat, wear, think, do is for the baby or family. YOU just fade into the background, maybe temporarily, maybe forever. Life gets bigger.

9. Make sure your partner is super-ready, enthusiastic and loving even before pregnancy.
This period will test every aspect of your relationship - patience, trust etc etc. Everything is on the line. The state of your r/s will also change, dramatically. So make sure things are rock-solid before you even discuss the B word. I thank God for Terence, who is my lifesaver. I thank God that he is so committed, loves children so much and is so ready to be a husband+father, so soon into our marriage. And even he admits that this pregnancy is difficult, scary, demanding and trying. So imagine how a lesser mortal will cope.....

10. Keep the faith.
That you will be well, baby will be healthy and that God will provide for your family. That you will survive birth/breastfeeding/confinement/your fat, ugly state. That all will be good hereafter. That it will be, as everyone says, worth every minute of the pain.



And after the birth, there's the confinement period to get over as well.
That's a MONTH of no bathing/no washing of hair/horrid Chinese food/no going out etc etc.
Shanmei is doing it.
I did a random survey and realised about 60% of women do it.
The rest skip it cos it's just impossible not to bathe for so long.
I figured i will try it for at least 2 weeks.
I do believe in it though - that it gets rid of the wind and helps Chinese women recover faster.
Anyway, i have hired a confinement nanny who is supposed to make this period more bearable.

Realised this is a super long and indulgent post on all things pregnancy.
But as it is, i'm due in a matter of days now.
Blessed be.