seriously speaking

Haha, realise my blog is quite frivolous.
Lets be more serious tis boring boring afternoon.

There's just abt 1.5mths more to 2005.
What should I do with this precious time?
Hmm...pay day is in 4 days'time. Good timing!
And i have 5 days off from 17-21. Tis getting better!

17th - Grooming day. Cos i quite look like the shaggy puppydog next door under broad daylight these days. Its wat happens after 2 months on night shifts. U dun recognise urself in the day.
Will get my hair and brows and facial done. Splendid. Altho there's still a risk 'these won't change a thing.


18th - SHopping!!! Ooh, I think Zara, Mango, Topshop, Tangs, Isetan, ESPRIT, FCUK and all my boutique-frens in Orchard miss me loads. Hv been outta action for 2wks! Revenge is mine.

19th - Saturday! Not that it matters to me. Hmm... see if anyone is free to have cuppa with moi.
And see if Zouk is an option at night. Its been completely overhauled, prices too...

20th - Sunday! Terence is off finally, so we'll catch the splendid (I hope!) movie, All Abt Love, which comes highly recommended by Mel. Last day of screening....i must i must catch it.

21st - How fast. Last off day. Of course I need to go shopping. Heh.


Sometimes, I wonder if i hate my job.
Do i hate it or just dread it or just am sick of it?
Its important, then i'll know whether to change.
The money's not fantastic, the hours are crap and deadly and jus damn shit,.
When its night shift, i get suicidal every other day. Not even joking.
The stress and pressure and challenges are nerve-wrecking and damaging.
Its very desk-bound. My 8-hr shifts are non-stop. I feel like a machine. We don't even get a break. Its too much bordering on abuse.

And tis may sound like a small thing - but i feel that i dun get to exercise much control and independence in this job. We're all like kids watched over by the ang mohs. Cos its Reuters and they are so afraid of us making mistakes broadcast to the whole world.
Our work - every aspect- of it, is scrutinised, inspected and worst of all, instructed.
I miss the free creative control, independence and the decision-making when i was doing the whole magazine in my old workplc. I used to call the shots for every single page in there. Now, every word i type is l0oked over. Its just hard to breathe.
U feel like u are learning, but at too slow a pace.
Every picture processed, every lil step is either specifically instructed or watched over.
Constantly looking over ur shoulder and breathing down ur neck.

But.
The people are quite nice. Intelligent, minimum politicking, cosmopolitan, gracious.
Some colleagues are pals i can hang out with. A handful, not all.
Most of the bosses are normal-functioning adults, except that idiot American mike. Bloody pig.
The management is top grade. Welfare, allowances, further learning etc are all excellent.
Location of my office is good. No ERP, no traffic jams, near enough, free secure spacious parking - more important a factor than it seems.
I've gotten used to being off on weekdays, when shopping malls are for tai-tais and sick peeps like me. Would I get used to a 9-5 job again, when i crash traffic jams twice a day and throng the malls with 2million people down orchard road on wkends?

And of course, it's still Reuters.
There's no hiding that.

I always thought i'll quit when a year is up.
The year is coming up.
As of January, it would be a full 12 mths.
Should I stay, or should i go?
Maybe í'm just someone that is hard to stagnate.

I really don't know.
I just tell myself to wait and see....
And let God lead me in the right direction.
I always think... I'll stay till i know for sure i wanna go.
I guess I haven't reached that certainty yet.