sleepless night in january

Haven't been sleeping well these few nites.
Which is really a waste, cos i'm on a super-luxurious 9-day break.
And i imagined this is the week i'll kinda retrofit my leftover lifestyle from 08 and try to make good.
But no. Of cos, things never went like i planned.
I crashed out.
Kinda slipped into a mini-depression of sorts.
Was retrospective and quiet and subdued and kinda watching things from a distance.
Had bouts of insomnia.
Last night, it kinda came to a crux.

I was sleepless, yet again.
So i watched 2 DVDs, back to back.
After that movie marathon, it was disappointingly only 3.30AM.
Still too early for bedtime, according to my insomniac body clock.
I felt like talking. Just chatting to someone.
Just hearing another voice comment on my 'issues'.
Just knowing that i'm not just dreaming and internalising it all.

What did i do?
I woke my poor husband up.
After all, he of all people, should know how depressed his wife is.
After a good 10 minutes, he woke up, as in, he became really awake.
So awake i think he couldn't sleep after that, hahah.

Naturally, i felt better after talking.
Women are women - we just need to yak.
We talked so much we nearly woke Marco up.
In the midst of making Marco go back to bed, i crashed and fell into my long-awaited deep slumber.

So i guess it was an okay night after all.

And now, i feel the sun is kinda back.
Maybe not shiny bright, but i can see a lil past that gloom and doom at least.

Not the best starts of years, i have to say.