my calling

I think i've found my calling.
It's so simple, it took me only till today to realise it.
It's motherhood.

There's no point kidding myself.
I have simply outgrew my old lifestyle.
Before i had Marco, i thought i loved fashion.
I thought i loved travel.
I thought my passion was in words, beauty and style.
No longer.

There's just no afternoon better spent than with my son.
I feel a new zest for life ever since i had him.
Watching him grow is the greatest thing on earth.

Whether we're heading to the playground, to the harbour or to the mall.
Nothing fills my heart more fully than his laughter and smiles.
There's no denying it.

It doesn't matter if i don't look my best.
It doesn't matter if i'm in scruffy berms and sporting unwashed hair in the mall.
All that matters is what we're doing together.
Sharing the precious time, whatever time i have not spent at work.

For a long time, i tried to 'maintain' my old lifestyle, alongside motherhood.
I tried to still indulge myself in things i loved...until i recently realised,
i simply don't 'love' these things so much anymore.
I don't enjoy trawling the malls for the latest jeans or bags.
I don't enjoy all these if it meant time away from my son.

And i think this is God's gift to me this xmas.
The wisdom to realise this.
The courage to come right out and admit it.
This is my life, unapologetically.

It's as 'boring' and unfashionable as it can get.
But how do i put it?
Perhaps only a mother will understand, the immense joys & pride of parenting.
How humbling it is.
And how much we can learn from kids.