childcare - to go or not to go?

Today, we brought Marco to visit a childcare centre.
It was ok, pretty pleasant and efficiently-run.
I like that things are simple and efficient here - no hype, no fuss, under the radar.
So many childcare centers over-promise and come on, you know how it is with kids.
You just will never be as great as you wanna be.
They have a mind of their own, never mind if you've planned fabulous stuff.

Another plus - the teachers are all local [ none from China, Philippines etc.]
And the kids pretty much looked ok, no unhappy sad faces.
They were learning crafts and colours and seemed to listen well to their teachers.
So althogether, a place i will certainly consider when he comes of age.

But as for now, he's still my lil boy, safe at home with Mum.

I have mixed feelings about this.
On one hand, him growing up to be a toddler frees me up a lot.
Most importantly, it means I can return to work full-time.
Which will boost our finances significantly.

But putting him in childcare so i can go back to work...
That's something I need to work on within myself.
Gotta be more pragmatic.
There are mothers who've been sending their kids at 6 months or so.
I've waited till Marco is at least 18-20 months... so I've done my part.

I just hate the health risks that comes with it.
The hand-foot-mouth outbreak is still very prevalent - every centre has its cases.
Before i go, it's already natural for me to ask: have you had a HFMD case recently?
And 90% of the time, it's a yes.
At least a fifth of students in every centre will get it.
And the younger they are... the more susceptible.
Urghhhh.... i so don't want to deal with sore spots, dehydration, fevers and all that.
It's heartbreaking.

Gotta cherish these last few months with Marco.
He's such a good boy.
I'm enjoying all our play dates out.
Everyday, after his lunch, he puts on his shoes and we'll head out.
He'll hold my car key and trot to the door.
If the weather's good, we'll go to the playground or park.
If I'm feeling cushy or the sun is too blazing, we'll go to the mall, the toy rental club or an indoor play-gym.
Saturdays, we head to my parents' place.
Sundays, we always try to do something more fun and outdoorsy with his daddy - either swimming, or kite-flying, or to the soccer field where he plays with other kids and balls, or the giant playgrounds at West Coast Park or frens' parties or... whatever I can think of.

I am loving this special period.
Of seeing him everyday. It's true mothering.
And sadly, no one else I know has this privilege to mother their kids themselves.
For everyone else, it's a struggle just to stay sane after a long work day...
So yes, i do feel very very lucky.

But this is a sacrifice that i chose.
I chose to mother my son over earning moolah.
I believe a lot of my frens have this choice too, but none can ignore the lure of money.
We're all not poor and destitute... none of us have problems putting food on the table.
It's a choice between our careers and our kids.
And that's the choice they'll have to live with.

Like the other day, i was talking to a fren with 2 kids.
I'd just reached home and she rang.
So i said i just brought Marco to the sand playground at Tiong Bahru.
And she went "wow, you do that? I never bring my kids to the playground, except on their birthdays."

I didn't know how to respond.
Marco goes to the playground like...every other day.

............. I just feel sorry for her kids.







Well, at least Marco is only 15 months now.
We're still just only 'shopping around' for suitable centres.
But the time will come, and my heart will break.