days gone by

today i met an old uni mate S at city hall.
For a split second, i wondered if i should call out to her, cos she obviously didn't spot me.
of course i did --- how can one resist fate like this?

We chatted for a gd 15 mins, with the hustle and bustle of the train station all ard us. It was kinda surreal.. cos the last time we spoke, it was probably amidst the peace & tranquility of UQ, Brisbane.
She didn't let on much, or probably nothing dramatic had happened in her life.
She is still studying in UQ, going from Bachelors to honours and now, Masters in Applied Linguistics (whatever that is!).
That seemed an awful lot of studying to me.
And she's nv held down a full-time job, going from one part-time/temp to another.
Said she hates office politics, and one way to stay out of it is to be a temp.
I was surprised.

Isn't that kinda like a cop-out?
To stay in school and avoid full-time employment cos you hate office politics?
It is kinda a way of life, isn't it? Something everyone gotta learn to deal with.
I hate it too, and it is rampant in my workplace.
But i have to deal with it, all 9-10 hrs everyday.

Different strokes for diff folks, i guess.
Anyway, looking at her, time seemed to stand still.
She hasn't changed one bit from when we were in school.
Look exactly the same, and most interestingly, dressed exactly the same.
Slack pants, plain tee + plain bag.
Not going at this from a fashion perspective...
It's just odd to me that time can actually, really stand still for someone for 4 years.

But it was nice seeing her. And reminded me of good times in school, and in church.

So, the wkend has arrived.
This week has been horrendous, and i dragged myself to work today despite feeling sick.
I feel like, subtly and discreetly (to his credit), terence seemed to be encouraging me to quit.
I can tell he much prefers me to stay home w Marco, and take on some part-time job or freelance assignments.
It is tempting...
but i cannot justify it within myself.

I've landed something really good.
On the other hand, i have my son's childhood +upbringing to think about.
Is my career worth his childhood, the 'key foundation years'?

But i will lose out on a great great job.
A great progressive workplace.
Good money.
Good colleagues (some, at least. I've found friends in a dog-eat-dog world).
Job that i've worked hard to be good at in the first few months, and am now slowly getting recognised for it.
Relatively alright hours - i get home by 2pm, although i need a nap till 4pm to keep sane.
And most importantly, a good place.
A place that will lead to better things.
And i haven't reaped the best yet....being here for only 4 months.

What about Marco?
his childhood...is priceless.
Blink and it may be over.
If i don't spend time nurturing him, will i forever feel guilty?
Hate myself? battle with the guilt?

Lord, lead me to the right path.