I am a World Cup widow.
So sad.
Terence zipped off to watch 3 consecutive matches with his frens.

Anyway.
We had a huge fight this afternoon.
He really can't take my crap.
Not even once in a blue moon.
Not at all.
He doesn't entertain it, doesn't understand it and worst, cannot take it.
I need to get tat into my head somehow.
I felt extremely bad about the whole thing.
The guilt was stinging me.

At the crux of it all,
I know I cannot ask for a better husband.
He does everything and anything for me.
He just doesn't understand my crap.

It is all me.
I dunno how to be half of a married couple.
I dunno how to put 'we' before myself, my own selfish needs and wants, habits and etc.
I am too used to living a life of my own.

I know exactly what or how much I need to do to achieve certain things.
Achieve things like peace of mind for the day, my to-do list at work, relieve my own stress, rewind and soothe my nerves...
I have had 25 years to carve out a personal formula for all these essentials of one's life.

Then along comes another person you have to accommodate.
He is not a difficult person to accommodate.
He is very accommodating as it is, making my end a lot easier.
But it is all me.
When it comes to accommodating someone else...
For me, even an inch is terribly uncomfortable.
Call me selfish. Or inflexible. Or wooden.
But i find it sooo hard to adapt to someone and sacrifice things I deem highly important.

I do want to try, however.
He totally has that marriage thing stamped into his head.
I need to be like that too.
Be more responsible. More accommodating. More understanding.
Be a better wife.

Tis a time of changes.
New priorities. New routines. New hours. New colleagues. New job duties.