Kate Bosworth

A fashion-forward actress I really like.

Kate Bosworth.

light in tunnel

love the tainted doors, white woods & floor panelling.... cosy, discreet luxe.

is it the calm wall colour? the sofa? or the natural light streaming in?

but something about this outfit is very homey, very I-want-to-live-here.

love love the romantic, arty legs. not very practical, but how charming.

Yes i am still very into interiors.

And i think a nice home makes for a nice haven.

After all, in busy packed Singapore, it may be our last place to hide.

We are into April's close.

Gosh, I am turning 27.

For once, i am really feeling shy about my age.

I pause, with a ??? in my head, everytime someone asks my age.

I'm not embarassed, neither do i feel the need to lie/hide/evade...

but it's certainly, erm....

I dunno, like some kinda expectation & weight that comes with age.

Why?
Do people expect me to be wiser, all-knowing, more responsible, down-to-earth simply cos i've lived more years?

YES THEY DO!

Today i was at Far East Plaza...and i bought a top from Toss.

Gosh... i've been visiting this tiny boutique since sec sch days, and Joe, the bohemian-ish owner, doesn't look a day older.

He told me his shop has been ard for 15 yrs, truly an 'icon' in today's retail scene.

There are some things about FEP that i love... and this is one of them.

I love the fact that i've been hanging out there since 1994 and seriously, it has lost none of its early cool factor.

The tattoo parlours, rockers, smokers, fashionistas, A-lians & underground boutiques are still there. Incredible.

Everytime i go there, i feel lucky to be young enough to shop there.

I have spent a lot this week.

At the end of the month [ when my pay is dried up].

Not a gd sign, if u know me well enough.

And yes, it is a harbinger of bad news.

Suffice to say, I can't fit my love & need for work, marco, family, shopping, running, reading, beauty, friends & sleep into 24 hours.

So I am frustrated + struggling + unhappy + exhausted.

Where is the light in my tunnel?

unconditional love

With a baby, life just gets unpredictable.

-- new maid has arrived
-- for some reason, i've put on 2kg
-- have stayed at my mum's house for 1 week, which is disruptive & helpful at the same time.
-- we are contemplating selling/downgrading the car
-- terence experienced his first facial ever
- i have a new addiction to twister rolls + cedele confectionery.


we are into April.
wow.

Watched WAITRESS on dvd last nite.
I'm a Keri Russell fan from her Felicity days.
Turns out to be really moving, and wat great timing.
I wept after the movie.

And i think about society is jsut so screwed.
Mothers and everyone alike downplay the significance of their children, of motherhood.
It really is one of the grandest moments and best periods of one's lifetime.
But in a society as screwed as ours, we downplay it to nothing more than a lil distraction, or a
brief lapse in your career, or a great inconvenience.
How it affects your career, how it costs so much to bring up a child, the pressure & labour of it all, sacrificing your freedom etc etc.
Everything is about --- how to juggle it.

What about truly enjoying it, and living it?
Truly being happy with your baby, and feel privileged, blessed to have those moments that some can only wish for.
To understand the real cycle of life, and to revel in providing for your own child.
To finally have a shot at comprehending the depth and magnitude of unconditional love.
To feel so contented, completed & in the moment.

I remind myself everyday... what a real blessing Marco is.
He is one in a million, and he is all mine.
Every gene, every heartbeat, every smile of his... is all mine.
What else in life can be that?

I hope for everyone to one day experience the unconditional love that is parenthood.
It can only come from God to us, and from us to our children.