I think I have the most wonderful boyfren in the world.
Or maybe, all gals secretly think this way.

This afternoon, as i was taking one of those amazing leisurely wonderful chill-out drives,
Plugged in to fantastic clear-sky cool weather and my most-loved moosik,
I was thinking abt the great blessed year that has been.

And i was trying to recall all the turning points of the last 10 mths...
You know, that one day or one moment that perhaps changed the path of ur life a little or a lot.
That was a few hours ago in my car...and i told myself to blog it down when i get home.


1. 1st of January 2005. I knew, had tis strange cannot-explain instinct, that tis year was gonna be great. Perhaps cos 2004 was so awfully tough and not-exactly-alwaz-happy. Maybe all i could go from there was up.

2. Landing the Reuters job in January. Phew. Blew even myself away.

3. Landing my beaming yellow shiny car in January. It arrived finally on the night of 19th Janury. After endless driving lessons by dad and happy trips to car showrooms where u feel like the princess whose father the king is gonna buy her a car. Absolutely wonderful and am soooo thankful. Henceforth, adios to squeezy smelly buses, lonely taxi rides and the green eye of envy at others' shiny mobiles.

4 . Going kayaking/cycling/swimming with the boys during my month-long between-job break. I knew there and then they were great frens for life. And I made up my mind to make more of an effort for them. Today, the frenship is v sweet.

5. Going out on my first date with Terence somewh in March.
I remember the whole day fondly. It wasn't even really a date. It was a saturday.... i was invited to a colleague's bday party with dennis. It ended abt midnight, and dennis drove me to another party at New Asia Bar. It wasn't that i wanted to go, but i told myself not to stay home on a saturday nite...so even tho i wasn't v close to the girls at the bar, i went anyway. True enuf, i was bored despite the abundance of eye-candy. Then terence msg me to ask if i wanna meet him. At that point, i haven't seen him in abt 2 years! Although we still chatted on the phone now n then. I knew it was gonna be weird and awkward and strange, but amazingly, i said ok (not my usual self, must be too bored). I was very very nervous bef he arrived at Raffles City. I remember gog to the toilet to check my hair, clothes everyth.... and wondered if i looked fine and presentable aft such a late night. And worst of all, i was afraid i wouldn't recognise his car and wld look so silly. But when i saw tis car with the fierce bright lights turning in, i somehw knew it was his. Only a car freak like him wld soup up his mobile tis way. I got in, but was so nervous and felt so awkward i didn't even dare look at him in the eye. It was just too damn strange to see someone aft so long...he wasn't even a good or close fren. There was jus no real reason we shld be meeting on a late sat night. Then we had supper at geylang, weird again. Then i went for a drive in his manual car at Marina South...but was pretty hopeless with the gears. Then he just took my hand to shift the gears and presto, the car moves. And at that moment, oh tis such a rubbish cliche, i really had this odd feeling we'll end up together. Maybe cos i can feel that remote but real feeling i may fall for him. And i haven't had that feeling for anyone since i broke up with kevin 1.5yrs ago. That few seconds of my racing heart.... i tink i'll remember it forever. Now i really think a woman's instinct could just be the most powerful emotion God created.


6. 4th of April. My brother's birthday and the day Terence and I got together.
Very sweet.... totally didn't know wat i was in for. In fact, when he asked so persistently and for soooo long, my answer wasn't even a "yes". I remember i said "ok, try lor". So anti-climax.

7. My first real night shift in August. It was horrible horrible dreadful and the worst thing.

8. 11 August, when Gerald confessed his love. It was such a single sweet moment and turning point in our 9-year friendship. I will always love him in this un-attainable way.

9. 26 September, when my best fren Shanmei got married in all the extravaganze and frills a wedding can have. A very beautiful gorgeous moment in hers, and all 10 of us bridesmaids' lives. It showed me how beautiful a true, no holds-barred wedding is. I always thot i wanted a low-key no-frills casual affair if i get hitched, but now, i see the respect, beauty, timelessness of a nice banquet. And i was so happy to see her so happy.

10. ...... Lets see wat the remaining 70 days of 2005 bring.

Empire Strikes Back

Tonight, i start my night shifts again.
For the next 5 weeks, i may be the most dreadful woman to cross ur path.

Have found a new hangout.
Or rather, revived it.
The Library@ORchard.
Its therapeutic having a cuppa and reading scores of magazines and yoga books there
on any lazy afternoon.
U feel like u have all the time in the world to lose urself in glossy mags and beautiful words.
And best of all,
U can hit shopping immediately after, 2 levels down.
Brilliant.

If i were Donald Trump's wife,
I'd start a shopping mall with half the space devoted to reading cafes, beauty salons and metaphysical squares.
They can shop and pamper/indulge/treat/better themselves physically, intellectually, mentally, emotionally.
A ladies-only shopping mall-cum-playground, where women enter...
And emerge looking and feeling their best!
Bravo!
Now, all i need to do is meet Mr Trump.

This is the dress I'd die to have.
From Versace Spring/Summer 2006 ready-to-wear collection.
Tis wat dreams are made of....

Wish List for rest of the year

- Kick-ass stamina and gangly muscles from running
- Digital camera
- New Nokia mobile phone, or at least, a resurrected version of mine

- Tinted V-cool shades for my car
- Coloured hair
- Bloated savings account
- Sight of dozen gd pals returning from Oz
- Singapore's best collection of lingerie
- Cool sunglasses
- Package at Wheelock salon
- Book: "Änthropology - 101 True Love Stories"by Dan Rhodes
- A nice blessed Xmas
- Clarins expensive SPF moisturiser

Ok, enough is enough... :)

Its a rainy nice beautifool Sunday.

I miss my frens.
Sigh..everyone seems so busy.
With their boyfriends, their work... some are just too depressed to come out.
The only people i see regularly now, beliv it or not, are the MCM guys.
Joe, Weixiong, Walter, Leo....
We go jogging, movies, supper, dinner, talk rubbish...
The girls are busy...i dunno with wat.
Ellen's busy with her boyfren and work, and anyway, she is too unhappy to talk.
Debra's still in her perpetual depression.
Elizabeth is too busy with work.
Zenny gives tuition every night to earn $1000 extra each month.
Shanmei's busy with her new husband and pregnancy.
Mich and the rest ... can't be bothered to call them.
Melissa and the rest.... we only meet like once every few months.
Sigh, no friends.


I think girls and guys get v different when they reach middle-20s.
The guys start to really focus and go far in their careers..
But still make effort to juggle their social lives. Whether or not they're attached.

The girls get stuck in some work routine...while striving to find a life partner.
Those with luck finding then commit a lot of time and effort to try to get hitched.
Those who can't find a partner get depressed and unhappy and envious and just become sour.

Maybe tis doesn't apply around the world,
But its the apparent pattern for my friends.
Generally those with partners seem happier, more fulfilled, more social and altogether a joy to be with.
Those without just seems depressed, fixated on smthg beyond their control, sour/bitter and altogether a kill-joy.
Its very sad.... why do u need a partner to make u happy or complete ur life?
They have to know that you gotta be happy and love ur life and urself... no one can do tat for you.
I do have one truly happy single galfren, Wendy.
And i think that's because she doesn't suffer from low self-esteem and has entrusted her life and love to the Lord. Her spirituality and faith keep her grounded and truly joyful in her heart.

The guys on the other hand, can't be bothered.
They are all single anyway!
hhaha.
And they are still so happy, doing so many things and living such purposeful fulfilling lives.
Perhaps that's y i like to hang out with them.
They are more laidback, crack a lotta jokes and jus dun take all these love bullshit so seriously.
U get the idea tat their notion is: if it happens, it happens.
Its not the be-all and end-all of life.
So do I. I really tink these are stuff outta our control.
And that the more u try to control it in some way, the more miserable you'll be.

Thats why i think my guy pals are such attractive eligible bachelors whom i'm v proud of.
Whereas my single girlfrens just seem a bunch of depressing old spinsters.
I didn't wanna mince my words, not on my blog.

Why do girls become like that as they get older?
The insecurity, jealousy, competitiveness just drive me nuts.
Why can't they be the kinda frens they were in school?
Its like.....it degenerates into tis crazy charade of who has the better/more promising job?
Who's slimmer and prettier? Who got the richer/better boyfriend?
Who's happier and more blessed?
I just don't buy into all these bullshit.
We come out to chill and relax and catch up, not add to our stresses!

Anyway, that's only a handful of them.
But its enough to blow me off.
Toxic.