día de nada
That is "nothing day"in spanish.
Me and ellen are gog to learn spanish.
Me for work; she for fun.
Yesterday, for some reason, both of us were in a moody mood.
Part sian, part depressed (altho she hates tis word), part bored, part moody.
It started when i woke up at 1pm,
and out of sheer boredom, decided to pack my wardrobe.
And I called her in the middle of packing...
And we decided to go out.
Cos being bored and moody together is better than being bored and moody alone.
And so we went to Suntec City...
With the weather reflecting our moods, all grey looming skies and cold breezes,
We knew the day was destined to be non-positive.
We were discussing a lot of things....
Cos when u are sian, there's usuually no one cause but plenty of ill factors.
And we thot abt other people versus ourselves....
My elder sis, for instance.
She's just shy of 28, but she alredi has a Master's degree and
A whole real house in Amsterdam. An okay job there too.
In fact, a whole new life there.
And then, on the other end of the achiever's spectrum,
there's our good fren Debra, who's turning 27.
But with nothin to her name.
We were not being mean or meaning ill,
its just comparing people.
I also mentioned another fren of mine, who's turning 28 too.
She's forever complaining abt her job, her dire lack of a man, her watever.
Talking to her wears me out, cos there seems nothing she's happy and contented abt.
And we thought abt it... where will we be at the very-near-future of 27-28?
We didn't had any answer though.
But we consoled ourselves that at 24,
We both had our own vehicles at least.
Her, a good hardy chopper bike,
Me, a small car.
And a bosom reliable always-there fren in each other.
On all accounts, if we were to look at it,
My sister would seem the winner.
She had the most.
But I don't envy her for it.
I felt that she had paid too high a price for it.
Given too much up for tat.
And given a choice, I would nv opt for tat.
Perhaps it's all part and parcel of building a life elsewhere.
You have to give up someth to start something new and afresh elsewh.
She comes home for 2 weeks....
Two short nothing weeks, and altho she doesn't say it out loud,
I know she feels like a stranger somewhat.
A stranger in the family.
A stranger among all our relatives when we visited our grandma.
No one expected her to be here.
No one anticipated that she'll fly back in a heartbeat like tat.
And when she does,
The awkwardness and their disconcertion
Subjugated the love and grandeur of her action.
Witnessing it is sad.
I think a lot of us underestimate the effort we put into our daily lives.
Keeping ties with good old frens.
Witnessing one another's lives evolve, change. Even if it's one boring, moody day.
Having a wonderful family and keeping it wonderful.
All the simple nothingness of everyday life here.
We keep thinking there's some big huge opportunity in the world out there for us to grab.
The carefree lifestyle, the big nature, the gracious nice people out there...
An exotic vast world for us to discover.
In comparison, where does having a cuppa at Jalan Kayu or at tat familiar kopitiam stand?
Or playing pool at that dingy Selegie pub?
Or a dawn jog with ur fren who live down the road?
Or hearing ur dad ask you abt ur job and teasing you abt ur horrendous driving at dinner?
Or spending 3hrs washing the car with ur maid?
It's all these small moments that make up the big grand life we think we have, isn't it?
One year aft I returned from Australia,
I got it back.
The ultimate feeling of home.
That everyth clicks. That I love it here and am here for the long haul.
The feeling that this is my life, simple and nothing as it is.
I am not chasing some big dream,
I may probably nv see the huge world out there.
I am not experiencing grand winter.
Have not even seen snow when my sister was ploughing her driveway in Amsterdam.
But life is so happy here. So nice and simple.
It was what I wanted. It is what I have now.
And it's enough.
It's ok if I never earn British pounds or Euro dollars or see America or Tokyo or Paris.
I have my family, my friends.
I have that simple comfort that even when I feel slightly sian one weekend afternoon,
I can have chocolate brownie and contemplate life with good pals in town.
And come back feeling on top of the world.
:) A genuine right-from-the-heart smile.
Me and ellen are gog to learn spanish.
Me for work; she for fun.
Yesterday, for some reason, both of us were in a moody mood.
Part sian, part depressed (altho she hates tis word), part bored, part moody.
It started when i woke up at 1pm,
and out of sheer boredom, decided to pack my wardrobe.
And I called her in the middle of packing...
And we decided to go out.
Cos being bored and moody together is better than being bored and moody alone.
And so we went to Suntec City...
With the weather reflecting our moods, all grey looming skies and cold breezes,
We knew the day was destined to be non-positive.
We were discussing a lot of things....
Cos when u are sian, there's usuually no one cause but plenty of ill factors.
And we thot abt other people versus ourselves....
My elder sis, for instance.
She's just shy of 28, but she alredi has a Master's degree and
A whole real house in Amsterdam. An okay job there too.
In fact, a whole new life there.
And then, on the other end of the achiever's spectrum,
there's our good fren Debra, who's turning 27.
But with nothin to her name.
We were not being mean or meaning ill,
its just comparing people.
I also mentioned another fren of mine, who's turning 28 too.
She's forever complaining abt her job, her dire lack of a man, her watever.
Talking to her wears me out, cos there seems nothing she's happy and contented abt.
And we thought abt it... where will we be at the very-near-future of 27-28?
We didn't had any answer though.
But we consoled ourselves that at 24,
We both had our own vehicles at least.
Her, a good hardy chopper bike,
Me, a small car.
And a bosom reliable always-there fren in each other.
On all accounts, if we were to look at it,
My sister would seem the winner.
She had the most.
But I don't envy her for it.
I felt that she had paid too high a price for it.
Given too much up for tat.
And given a choice, I would nv opt for tat.
Perhaps it's all part and parcel of building a life elsewhere.
You have to give up someth to start something new and afresh elsewh.
She comes home for 2 weeks....
Two short nothing weeks, and altho she doesn't say it out loud,
I know she feels like a stranger somewhat.
A stranger in the family.
A stranger among all our relatives when we visited our grandma.
No one expected her to be here.
No one anticipated that she'll fly back in a heartbeat like tat.
And when she does,
The awkwardness and their disconcertion
Subjugated the love and grandeur of her action.
Witnessing it is sad.
I think a lot of us underestimate the effort we put into our daily lives.
Keeping ties with good old frens.
Witnessing one another's lives evolve, change. Even if it's one boring, moody day.
Having a wonderful family and keeping it wonderful.
All the simple nothingness of everyday life here.
We keep thinking there's some big huge opportunity in the world out there for us to grab.
The carefree lifestyle, the big nature, the gracious nice people out there...
An exotic vast world for us to discover.
In comparison, where does having a cuppa at Jalan Kayu or at tat familiar kopitiam stand?
Or playing pool at that dingy Selegie pub?
Or a dawn jog with ur fren who live down the road?
Or hearing ur dad ask you abt ur job and teasing you abt ur horrendous driving at dinner?
Or spending 3hrs washing the car with ur maid?
It's all these small moments that make up the big grand life we think we have, isn't it?
One year aft I returned from Australia,
I got it back.
The ultimate feeling of home.
That everyth clicks. That I love it here and am here for the long haul.
The feeling that this is my life, simple and nothing as it is.
I am not chasing some big dream,
I may probably nv see the huge world out there.
I am not experiencing grand winter.
Have not even seen snow when my sister was ploughing her driveway in Amsterdam.
But life is so happy here. So nice and simple.
It was what I wanted. It is what I have now.
And it's enough.
It's ok if I never earn British pounds or Euro dollars or see America or Tokyo or Paris.
I have my family, my friends.
I have that simple comfort that even when I feel slightly sian one weekend afternoon,
I can have chocolate brownie and contemplate life with good pals in town.
And come back feeling on top of the world.
:) A genuine right-from-the-heart smile.
posted by may @ 2:59 PM
1 Comments:
At 1:28 AM, March 06, 2005 ,
Anonymous said...
My dear, turning 27 or 28 ain't that bad, really. HAha. Take it from a guy who is in that range now.
It's difficult to compare success. Some might say that Debra is not a success. In my opinion, so long as she is happy where she is, there is nothing wrong with that. But that's a sharp analysis you made there. Debra is just one of many faceless Singaporeans who lack an identity.
With regard to your sis, I'm truly sorry to hear about the treatment she received. Indeed, it must have been a pain to watch the events unfolding before your very eyes. If your sister was sensitive enough, she might have been hurt by the actions, or the lack thereof. But the important and heartwarming thing to remember is that she returned, just when you needed her most. That's family, no matter how the rest think otherwise.
Be open to the world around you, esp. life in Reuters. This may be the biggest break yet in terms of your career. Whatever reservations you had before, toss it out of the window. Go in there, learn as much as you can, and define your life the way you want it to be.
I hope that you will find your own success by the time you are 27 or 28. No worries, I will be around to crap the life out of you. HAha.
Take care, dear friend.
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