I sense big changes ahead.
Accessing all areas.

4 years ago, I naively thought i had it going good.
Now i know - it was what i wanted that i had in head, not what i really had then.
This strong desire has only led to one mistake after another.

I am now wiser, but also less courageous.
I actually miss the impulse that I once had - the sheer guts to jump the gun, or just jump in.
Feel like a bloody coward now - another side effect of age no one tells you?

Lord, all i have now is faith.
Not even hope - just a faint faith beeping within me somewhere.
And until this teeny beep grows louder, i guess i will be stagnant.