Time Out

I find myself escaping domesticity more than i ever did.
I sneak out for a few hours every weekend, linger at the malls for a bit on fridays...
I even lie when i need to, if i feel like i really need a break.

I guess, when you are running around headless everyday with a kid + a full-time job, life does get crazy.
These precious hours away remind me of my self.
Who was I before all these?
Centres me, keeps me sane, reminds me I still have a life outside of motherhood + work.

Does this sound sad?
If you're single, maybe this sounds really pathetic.
But i trust all mums will understand the frenetic madness of raising a young child.

He needs you 24/7. There is always something more you can do with/for him.
And you know what's worse than frustration?
Pent-up frustration.
When you are trapped by it, you can't let it out, you can't see beyond that.
It's like taking a piss - when you gotta go, you gotta go. Period.

By myself, I slow down.
Did i tell you i have become a master at multi-tasking?
I do everything so fast all the time - at work, at home.
It saves me time, but its freaking stressful living in accelerated mode everyday.
When i'm alone, i eat slower, read slower, write slower, think normally.
It's good for my soul.

I'm having one of these days tomorrow.
Ridiculously, i'm so excited i can't sleep.
Where will i go? What will i do? What to wear (it's like a date with myself)?
How much time do i have? What's the latest i should reach home before i feel guilty?
Where will i have my brunch? Am i gonna shop or just read?

Welcome to my (crazy) life.

Bid me Run

What do I love about running?
Apart from the obvious endorphin-high:

- that it makes me get up in the morning

- it may be my only me-time in an entire day, or week

- that it puts me at the mercy of nature

- i feel alive

- it reminds me of who i am

- it makes me feel all things are possible, or will pass

- the air at dawn smells and feels so good

- the simple rhythmn of my two feet pounding the ground

- the great stretch after

- the peace & quiet in the morning

- Most of all, the solitude

A Lovely Walk - Sept 5th 2009 Sunday

@ Harmony Lane

September 5th 2009

Sunday

winds of change

Are there certain things/ situations / qualities that make you feel like yourself?
You know, things that you have loved or been doing since you were a kid, can even do with eyes closed... it calls out to you in mysterious ways, , puts you in your element and makes you feel like, well, lil ol' you?


I've been thinking about it... only cos I feel a certain huge shift within myself.

I feel a certain coming-of-age, if i can put it vaguely.
Not so much a mellowing stage, but a total shift in identity altogether.
I just feel different these days.
A different version of myself.