.................

i think i've fell hard.
God just dealt me a reality blow this 2 years.
officially and on the record, i concede defeat.
i have more on my plate than i can handle.
i am struggling. And failing.
i just cannot do it. or take it. or deal with it.

2-7

I am really gonna turn 27.

Why, oh why, is this so difficult?

It's certainly more difficult than turning 26, or 25, 24....

No, i am not shamelessly reminding people of my birthday.
I am seriously horrified at the thought of going...to the land of no return.

You know, age.

It doesn't sit well with me. Or the me that i know myself to be.

The energetic, restless, hyperactive, spendthrift, drama-mama, fashion-addict me.

The me that was ready in a fly for anything.

Though, i have to admit... i am hardly me these days.

So, perhaps now is as good a time as any to get old.

There are many many things i miss.

Did i do those things cos i was young? Or cos i was single?
If i were still single, would i still be doing those things?

Things I miss most in this world:

-- dinners with my husband

-- dressing up

-- shopping in town, with no time limits, no rush

-- driving out, long long drives to new places

-- running, sweating

-- long walks with zenny, no agenda, no schedules, no rush, no calls, no one to answer to

-- drinking with frens, chilling out, hanging out

-- travelling, airplanes, hotels

-- hiking

-- the boys

-- meeting people on a whim, no planning, no scheduling

-- engaging, stimulating adult conversations

i wish for a happy birthday for myself.

That i won't scare myself silly when the clock strikes 12.

That instead, i shall do all the things i want to do N-O-W.

no more waiting, no more procrastinating, no more fears.

Next thing we know, we will be staring at 3-0 in the face.

***shudders***

post

My 2 faves from the Costume Institute Gala:
Audrey Tautou in Chanel & Kate Moss in Stella McCartney.

Stella really makes beautiful beautiful dresses....

She just seems to totally understand a woman's body... but of cos!

But her drapes & cuts are soooo gorgeous and sublime.

Never too provocative, and never boring either.

Chanel ...what can i say? Is like a dream.

And Audrey looks divine.

Anyway, had a long wkend last week.

Over the May Day holidays.

The days just went by calmly, nicely.

These days, taking my own time is blissful & a rare luxury I sooo cherish.

Singles will find it hard to comprehend.

Circa days before Marco, I never imagined motherhood is just simply,

one whole big rush.

The hours just fly past, lost between nappy changing, grinding & boiling food, preparing milk feeds, rocking the baby to sleep and squeezing in your own meal & bath times.

nice threads

A talented designer... who is, surprise surprise, local.

If i can have my wedding once more, he will be my dress-maker.

But the good news is - he makes regular cocktail dresses too.

I loooooove the first 2 up there. Gooooorgeous beyond words.

Why do I love clothes so much?
I dunno, i have loved clothes since i was 12.

I remember spending time thinking about what to wear to meet friends at the super unglam Bukit Merah Central when i was 11.

And i decided on flower-printed denim shorts & a pastel tee.

And i thought I looked pretty.

More importantly, I felt good the whole day & I attributed that, in part, to my outfit.

There was no turning back since then.

If a simple matter of fabrics & colours can make my day as it did, I thought,

I must be on to a good thing.

Fast forward 15 years...and my quest for good cuts, good cuts

beautiful clothes has not ebbed one bit.

I go weak at the knees when I spot these creations.

It's really a form of expression -- what we wear.

Are we in for a fuss-free day in jeans & tee?
Or feeling dour in grey & khakis?
Maybe we wanna say something when we show a bit of skin,

and sometimes a nice dress says it all.

Hope the guys finds us demure & sweet, or sporty & chic?

It really comes down to what you wear, doesn't it?

Do You Believe in Love?

Do You Believe in Love?


"Sometimes I believe that love dies but hope springs eternal.
Sometimes I believe that hope dies but love springs eternal.
Sometimes I believe that sex plus guilt equals love,
& someimtes I believe that sex plus guilt equals good sex.
Sometimes I believe love is as natural as the tides,
& sometimes I believe love is an act of will.
Sometimes I believe that some people are better at love than others,
& sometimes I belive that everyone is faking it.
Sometimes I believe that love is essential,
& sometimes I belive that love the only reason love is essential is that
otherwise, you spend all your time looking for it.
Yes, I do believe in love."



-- I cannot say Nora Ephron did not succintly, beautifully & perfectly spelt out the whole conundrum of love for me.