2010

Just before 2010 runs to a close, I think it's time for thanksgiving.

- That i have grown so much this year, mentally, spiritually.
I feel much wiser and more mature than my 29 years. What a blessing.
They say the only thing that makes all mistakes worthwhile is what you learnt/gained from these episodes. In this vein, I surely have gained much.

2. Of course, the only one that grew wasn't me.
Marco turned 3 this year and continues to amaze me everyday with his kindness and cuteness.
I personally know and have come across so many types of kids - rich ones, spoilt ones, good ones, confident ones, super-adorable ones, poorer ones and most unfortunately, intellectually slower ones or less healthy ones. It makes me feel more blessed that God has given me a healthy child, so full of promise and love in his soul.


3. My mum's helper.
Without her, i wouldn't be able to resume running. Or be able to work in peace. Or to have somewhere i can always 'deposit' Marco at when i am on the verge of insanity or collapse. Or simply when i just need to go shopping/get a pedicure / grab a coffee and solo time. She is indeed special and VERY IMPORTANT in my life.


4. Some friends. Many have disappointed, but clearly, some precious gems have shone through and lit up my life just for who they are and how much they care. It touches my heart.


5. My home - it brings me peace just living here. Serene, green and just peaceful all the time. I love it.


6. My job - i can't say i love it, but this year especially, it has been such a great thing that i have this work that fits my hours so perfectly. I am acutely aware very very few people can say this about their work. In fact, i know of no such other person.


7. God. There is no one second that I didn't need him.

siblings

I really love how close Marco is to my brothers and sisters.
And feel really thankful that he is soo adored and love.
They fetch him, play with him, sleep with him, buy stuff for him, teach him silly stuff, indulge him when my patience runs out -- and even use his photos as phone / PC wallpapers.
It's just really sweet.

It wasn't so easy for me.
I was never really that fond of kids before i had a kid.
In the past, i was not the kind who will voluntarily spend time with children....
before i had a child myself and discovered a whole new world.

So i'm sometimes still surprised by how much they love him and how much time they spend with him.
God is kind.

About a Bag

Haven't blogged for sooo long...but was so inspired /humbled by my dad today.
It's his birthday and we'd been thinking what to get him.

He's the kind of man... who can use something for 20 years without complaint.
And finally, my brother thought of... why don't we get him a briefcase?
A nice, presentable looking one.... cos, the sorry fact is, this Executive Director of a japanese MNC goes to work daily carrying.... my old, free, long-abandoned laptop bag, with a ugly cheap logo in front. Yep, he's been using that for the last 10 years!

Mind you, that 'briefcase' was from my FIRST EVER notebook PC, in like.... 1999 or something.
And i can't even remember when exactly i abandoned it and when he picked it up like a treasure and decided to carry it to work EVERYDAY FOR THE NEXT DECADE.

So Leon went scouting in town and found a real nice, leather dark brown leather briefcase.
Nothing flashy, zero logo, just a standard basic very standard-looking briefcase.
When my dad opened his gift, he immediately thought of 967 reasons why we shouldn't have "wasted money" on it, how his old bag was working perfectly well and he really didn't need a new one, asked 300 times how much it cost etc etc, kept asking if it looked too flashy and that he wanted to remain low-key, doesn't wanna show off .....


I was like -- it's just a PLAIN LEATHER BRIEFCASE!
Totally NOWHERE near anyone's idea of flashy or showing off!
hello??!!!

The truth is, it wasn't even that expensive.
Like about $250, i think.
All that fuss.... but of course, he liked it and later on, i saw him transferring the contents from the old bag to the new one.
While insisting that he'll still keep the old bag.

And there i was -- sorry, pathetic me.
Earning a teeny fraction of what my dad earns and yet, yearning for IT bags worth thousands of dollars, trying to rationalise to myself the bag will be an 'investment' and all that BS.
Thankfully, i hadn't succumbed.
But oh my, just one look around and scores of girls walk around town with a LV / Chanel / Chloe.
Why are we sooo shallow?

In fact, i know this girl... who stays in a one-bedroom rental HDB with her husband and daughter.
She's about 27, works as some clerk probably earning not more than $1.8k (fact, she told me).
Which is all absolutely fine.... except she's carrying a huge, geniune LV bag the last i saw her.
I wasn't envying her bag.... i was alarmed at how she prioritised $$$.
If you're living in a 1-bedroom rental flat in a shabby neighbourhood, why aren't you saving up for a bigger, better place for your family???
That bag easily would have cost at least $2k (not that i know anyway since i don't own a single designer bag..... )


Anyway.... yea, i was very humbled by my dad and do believe some of that rubbed off on me.
Despite my weakness for fashion, i do not own a single designer bag.
My most expensive bag EVER is probably $170 or something - TRUTH.
Not to say i've never desired one....
But after today, all that desire is gone.

We are who we are -- no designer item is gonna make us look better or feel better.
And there's probably tonnes better use for all that money anyway.

Mother's Day

Melbourne in 2 days! I CANNOT WAIT!

Had a lovely Mothers Day weekend.
My boy is just the sweetest boy ever, i love him so much.
Nice simple family time, very sweet, and the stuff memories are made of.

I think part of why i love parenting so much is cos i'm doing it while i'm not that old yet.
I will always cherish these days - being a young mum to marco means i'm always energetic, always open to new ideas, can match his ideas of fun and play, can think of all sorts of crazy outdoor ideas without being too scared of the sun or heat....

It's really the best thing.

I bring him out and we see some older mums and they are ALWAYS complaining.
About the heat, the maid, the sun, the wrinkles, mondays, mosquito bites, washing hands etc.
It's soooo tiring just looking at them.
Why can't they just enjoy the playtime with their kids?
Have they gotten so old and jaded they've forgotten what PLAY or FUN means?

It typically means no airconditioning, lots of grass and blue skies, some grit and dirt, no timetables/ schedules, dining with your hands in some park instead of a fine restaurant, wearing easy no-frill shorts and tees and flip-flops (not dresses, designer bags, high heels or bloody MAKEUP!), actually PLAYING and running around (not parking yourself stationary in the shade) etc etc.

It really makes such a big difference to kids when you play with them, engage them, bring them outdoors and just have a fun time and not sulking or whining about it.
Sigh.
If only more parents realise these things come with an expiry date - when your kids are 9-10, they won't wanna play with you anymore! Boo Hoo!


Terence and Marco made me feel v special about being a mom.
Actually, most of the time when i pray, i thank god for choosing me to be Marco's mum.
He could be anyone's son, and anyone will feel soooo blessed, but He chose me.
Marco is not perfect, but he fulfils me in every way i didn't think of before.
Whatever that gets me down, one look at him and i remind myself - pls be as positive as my son is.
Rain /storm/ bad weather? He glees at the chance or possibility to play with the raindrops outside, or relish the mere thought of carrying a brolly out
Work stress? A 15-minute cycling session with him around our house makes my day, and make me forget all about work.
Fatigue? He sings and sings to get my attention and instead of feeling like a tired cow, i thank God my son is such a happy kid with so much song and cheer in his heart.
Burnt out? He is more than happy to nap with me, anytime of the day.
Upset over whatever small stuff? We go out for outdoor fun / shopping whatever and my whole week will be lifted.

See? He is really worth that 10 months of pain and labour!

Today Marco got:

- his first watch
- his first shades
- his first swimming buoy

He is really growing up fast!